Cathy is a carer for her husband, Geoff, who has Alzheimer’s. Between diagnosis and discovering our services, Cathy recalls feeling like she was ‘just left to deal with it’. But thanks to the support she has received, she now realises ‘being a carer is not all doom and gloom’.
Thinking back to 2020, Cathy tells us: “Because it was all going on during the Coronavirus pandemic, we were first directed by the GP to do a dementia self-assessment online. That didn’t help though because Geoff was fine - less confused - at home, in his own environment. But deep down I knew that things were not right.
“For example, we have two grandchildren who have the same birthday, which is a big deal in our family. But he didn’t remember. So I started probing a little bit, asking questions like ‘What’s the season?’ and ‘Who’s the Prime Minister?”. When I noticed he didn’t know everyday things like this, alarm bells started ringing. There was a realisation that this was a really big issue.”
Eventually, in September 2022, Geoff was formally diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. It was an agonising wait for Cathy and unfortunately, the struggles didn’t stop there.
“They sent us home from the memory clinic with two books. Other than that there was one follow-up phone call, and I never heard from them again. I thought, ‘It’s okay, we can cope with this’, but really we were kind of just left to deal with it. So I ended up doing my own research.”
Despite a challenging time for the couple, Cathy remained strong. She found things for them to do every day, including someone visiting Geoff once a week to give herself a respite from caring, “and give him somebody to talk to other than me!” she laughs.
Mixing and interacting with more people was a step in the right direction, but it wasn’t until discovering the Healthy Memory Café two years later that things really transformed for the better. Led by Lucy Cosgrove, our Admiral Nurse who specialises in dementia care, the café is a weekly drop-in session for people living with dementia or who are worried about their memory to attend with a loved one and get support in a safe and relaxed environment.
“Friends and family are brilliant, but coming here, it’s different when you’re around others in a similar situation,” Cathy continues. “We all appreciate how difficult it is, we can talk about what’s going on and we can share information. As well as the social element for Geoff, there’s always people here giving advice that I can take away with me. It shows that being a carer is not all doom and gloom - I go home feeling lifted for the rest of the day.
“I also attended a four-week Carer’s Training course which Lucy delivered while Geoff was being looked after at the café. It was invaluable. It was useful to have people sharing their experiences around the table. We got very emotional, but it's interesting hearing other people’s stories. We're all completely different despite being under the same umbrella.
“There’s no pattern to dementia or Alzheimer’s, but the training made me feel like I’m not alone. All the information imparted to you is good, even if you don't need it straight away. I almost have a second sense now when it comes to recognising symptoms!
“We absolutely haven’t looked back since we started coming here. It is really a lifeline for us both.”
